A continuation of sharing and acknowledging the different types of grief….
While there are many overlaps in grief “Symptoms” across loss, each type of grief also presents its own unique differences.
It was my biggest aha in coming to know grief that falls outside of a death.
We have been taught that we grieve when someone dies….
This can leave us feeling confused and disoriented when there is a loss that is not “death” related.
Being able to name what we are feeling is incredibly important in knowing how to attend to ourselves and to finding a path forward.
💔What Is Ambiguous Grief?
Ambiguous grief is a type of grief that occurs when there is a loss that is unclear, uncertain, or lacks closure. Unlike traditional grief, where there is a concrete event (like a death), ambiguous grief is marked by ongoing questions, no clear ending, and often no social acknowledgment.
Two Main Types of Ambiguous Grief
1. Physical Absence with Psychological Presence
This happens when someone is physically gone but still very present emotionally or mentally.
Examples:
~ A missing family member
~Estranged or absent parents
~Adoption-related loss
~A relationship breakup where feelings remain
~Immigration or living far from loved ones
2. Psychological Absence with Physical Presence
This occurs when someone is physically here but emotionally or cognitively not the same.
Examples:
• Dementia, Alzheimer’s, brain injury
• Mental illness or addiction
• A loved one who is emotionally unavailable
• A partner who has changed drastically after trauma
🫂What Makes Ambiguous Grief So Hard?
• No closure → the grief stays open-ended
• Ongoing uncertainty → hope and despair often cycle
• Lack of validation → others may not understand why it hurts
• Chronic stress → the “not knowing” keeps the nervous system activated
• Role confusion → not sure how to relate to the person anymore
👉Ambiguous grief often leads to:
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Confusion
• Feeling “stuck”
• Isolation or shame
• Difficulty moving forward
Why It Matters
🧠Naming ambiguous grief helps clients:
• Understand why they feel so dysregulated
• Reduce shame (“There’s nothing wrong with me — this is a real type of loss.”)
• Normalize their mixed emotions
• Begin to process grief even without closure
❤️🩹Helpful Phrases for Clients
• “Your grief makes sense even though the situation doesn’t.”
• “You’re grieving the loss of what you hoped for, not just what is.”
• “It’s hard to heal when the story doesn’t have an ending.”
